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First Date Ideas That Are Not Dinner
Thirteen easy ideas, plus how long to stay, who pays and how to keep a first meeting safe.
A good first date is an hour or two somewhere public, where you can hear each other, with something to look at when the talk slows and an easy way out. A garden café, a late-opening gallery, a walk to a pub or one quiet early drink all pass. Save dinner for the second date.
Before you pick
What makes a good first date idea?
Almost anything works if it passes four tests.
- You can hear each other. A quiet table beats a clever venue.
- You can leave. There is a door, a natural end and no booking to lose.
- There is something else to look at. A view or a game rescues the pauses.
- Other people are around. A first meeting belongs in public.
Every idea below passes all four. More are on our date ideas hub.
Easy
Casual first date ideas that need no planning
A park or garden café
Tea, a table outdoors if it’s dry and plants to point at when talk slows. No bill to wait for: you pay at the counter.
A pub in the afternoon
Quiet enough to hear each other, bright enough to see who you’re talking to. Order a soft drink if you prefer; nobody minds.
A food hall at lunchtime
Pick a stall each and one small plate. The noise covers any pauses, nobody is stuck at a table, and a coffee ends it.
Active
Active first date ideas that do half the talking
Side by side is easier than face to face for many people.
A walk with a destination
Aim for a canal lock, a headland or a pub two miles on. Check the way back before you set off.
Table tennis or pool in a bar
A game with turns gives you somewhere to look and something to tease about. Keep the score loose.
A beginner dance class
Ceilidh, salsa or swing, ideally with rotating partners. You will be holding hands within minutes, so check your date is keen first.
Cultural
Cultural first dates with built-in conversation
A guided walking tour
History, street art or ghosts. The guide fills the silences and the tour ends at a time you can plan around.
A gallery on a late night
Tate Modern in London lists opening until 9pm on Fridays and Saturdays, with no charge for the collection displays. Check the listing first.
After dark
First date ideas at night that still feel easy
Keep it early, lit and busy, and settle the way home first. Daytime dates are simpler still. Real places and late transport are in our date ideas for London, Manchester and Glasgow.
One drink at a quiet bar
Get there by seven, sit where you can hear each other and order what you like, soft drinks included.
A night market or festive lights
Busy, bright and brisk, with plenty to point at. Walk the loop once, then decide whether to stay.
Wet weather
First date ideas when it’s raining
British weather is a reason to plan twice. Pair each outdoor idea with a roof two minutes away.
River walk, then a gallery café
If the sky turns, the nearest gallery or museum café is dry and warm, with somewhere to sit.
Market, then the pub next door
Do the outdoor stalls first, then retreat to a pub with a fire. Look the pub up beforehand, so the switch takes seconds.
Viewpoint, then the bar below
Climb for the view if the cloud lifts. If not, the nearest warm bar at the bottom will do.
On the day
How to run the first hour
Time and money
How long to stay, and who pays
How long should a first date last?
Plan for an hour and let it run to two if you are both enjoying it. Much under 45 minutes feels like an interview; past two hours you have accidentally booked dinner. Have a reason to stop, like a train or an early start, so the end never feels like a verdict.
Leave while you both want more.
Who pays on a first date?
There is no rule, only habit. In a February 2023 Ipsos poll of 1,000 adults in Great Britain, splitting a dinner bill down the middle was the most common answer, at 34%, ahead of the person who invited on 25%. The Gentleman’s Journal quotes Debrett’s: “the person who requests the pleasure, pays for the pleasure”.
A kind rule: whoever suggested the place offers to pay first. The other says thanks, then splits it or buys the next round. Short of money? Pick somewhere cheaper: see our cheap date ideas.
Common sense
Staying safe on a first date
- Meet in public. The Suzy Lamplugh Trust, a UK personal safety charity, advises a public space and an exit plan.
- Tell someone. Tell a friend where you are going and who you are meeting, and check in before, during and after.
- Own your way home. Bring a charged phone, and fare money or a planned route.
- Guard your drink and details. Keep drinks in sight and your home address to yourself.
- Stay on the site until you’re sure. Forget Dinner warns you if someone tries to move the chat to another messaging app, and blocking or reporting takes a tap.
If you ever feel unsafe: leave, get somewhere busy and call a friend. In an emergency, dial 999.
Nothing here promises safety; the Trust says its advice only helps you assess and reduce risk. More on how Forget Dinner keeps things safe.
First date questions, answered
What are good first date ideas for introverts?
Pick something with a focus other than each other: a gallery, a guided walk or table tennis. Go at a quiet time, such as a weekday afternoon, and agree an hour in advance, so you know when you can go home and recharge.
What are good first date ideas for people in their 30s and 40s?
The same ones, with fewer late nights: a weekday drink, a Saturday-morning market or a late gallery opening. Roughly six in ten people on Forget Dinner are between 35 and 54, so you are in good company. See our guide to dating in your 30s and 40s.
What if the conversation dries up on a first date?
Comment on where you are: something you can see, hear or taste. Then ask an open question, such as what they would rather be doing on a Saturday. A few seconds of quiet is not a verdict, and suggesting a walk resets most conversations.
Is it okay to end a first date early?
Yes. You do not owe anyone a full evening. Thank them, say it was nice to meet, and go. If you feel unsafe, leave and head somewhere busy. On Forget Dinner you can also block or report a member at any time.
You’ve got the plan. Now find the date.
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